Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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