I am in a vortex of obligation.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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