How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
