that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
