it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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