Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
