don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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