i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
