ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
