he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
