Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
now i know why i became what i already was.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
