Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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