how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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