Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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