I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
