I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
