just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
