1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
