If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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