why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
