Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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