K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
