Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
