Please, let me fuck your mom
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
