Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(317): View more from Indiana

we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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(231): View more from Michigan

btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

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(510): View more from California

yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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(541): View more from Oregon

His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS

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(914): View more from New York

But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs

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