my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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