you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
