no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
