Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize