Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
