I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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