Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
