We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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