Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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