Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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