He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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