That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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