I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need water and some morals
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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