So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
