Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Princesses don't give blow jobs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.