And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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