The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
