im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
