you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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