I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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