How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
