see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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