So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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