I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize