I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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