no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
