She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
