She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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