Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
