Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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