i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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