During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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