fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
