The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
